Oh, And I Forgot to Mention...
Timothy is writing songs again. He co-wrote one with our friend Nana and has written two more. I wish there was a way you all could hear the last one he wrote, but I don't know how to do that sort of stuff on this contraption.
When our friends were here last Sunday evening we turned on the Cornerstone service to show them the church we went to in Nashville. They were amazed. Matjaz said, "I'm going to preach at that church someday."
Clay has hit the "no" phase. I really can't stand it. I've spanked him several times for it. There's been sometimes that it has been cute, like when he puts his index finger out and shakes it and says, "Hu-uh, no." Of course, I don't allow him to see that I think it's cute. Ivana has tried playing with it. When he tells her no she says yes and then they go back and forth. I asked her to stop. I don't think we should be treating this as a game.
I've asked a couple mothers here what they've done and it's been, "Oh nothing. It's just their first signs of rebellion." Oh, it's just rebellion.
I do want Clay to be independent and confident in everything, but I hate it when he acts like a brat. I don't think it should be tolerated, but on the other hand I'm not getting any good advice so far. Can anyone out there help me? What would Dr. Dobson say?
posted by Kristy Jo | 5:45 AM
2 Comments:
I have grabbed Owen's face and tried to focus the punishement on his face or mouth so he knows that his mouth is the offendor. I haven't slapped his face or anything but I've put my fingers over his lips or squeezed his cheeks together while I explain that he is not to talk to me that way. He hasn't done it much and I can't say my method's are the reason...I don't know if it's been productive at all for sure, but that's what I've done.
Gosh. I'm drawing a blank. What have I done? The boys say "no" to me now and again, but they are older and understand that they have been disrespectful so the lecture/punishment goes with the age. What Clay is doing is partly disrespectful, and partly a phase. I say that not to diminish the action (because, if unchecked, it will turn into a habit), but to distinguish it from the way an older child might use the word. The balance is in teaching them to be respectful (no "talking back", "sassing" or whater-else-you-might-call-it)*without* crushing their emerging independance. Am I stating the obvious? I feel like I've been no help. I don't think we struggled with the "no" phase for very long. I think we spanked when it was a repeated offense after having just explained *why* we don't talk to Mommy or Daddy like that. I think it helps if you use the same term each time when refering to the behavior. Kids this young need to catch the pattern so they can figure out what they are doing wrong (it may not be as obvious to them as touching something they are supposed to). In our house, the catchword is "obey", "obedience", "disobedience" and now that they are older and know more about tone, I talk about "respect" and things being "respectful". I friend of mine always tells her children that they should "mind", or points out that they aren't "minding". I've hear my sister-in-law tell her kids not to "sass" her. But, be consistent so he isn't confused and he'll start to get it.
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