Terri Schiavo

I'll just copy and paste what my sister Mary wrote on her blog yesterday. It says pretty much everything I'm feeling too...

In other news: Terri Schiavo passed away this morning. I have never wanted this to become a political blog so I have never said much about issues but I just can't ignore this and I hope that people will somehow realize the danger in what we have witnessed. First of all let me say that I hate the fact that one person's battle to live has become so consuming that an entire nation has been waiting to see what would happen. This family has turned our heads away from war and earthquakes to watch while they fight over custody and human rights. Why do we care? Some don't care, but I must admit I do. The only reason this has become political is because once again men and women of authority have made the choice to ignore laws and principles that are already in place and given their opinion weight over the constitution.
In reality this is a family issue and a moral catastrophe. What is the difference between this woman and my niece Grace? They are both unable to communicate except through eye contact and facial expressions. They both experienced a brain injury due to a lack of oxygen and both are completely at the mercy of those who are given legal right to make decisions for them. A feeding tube for Grace was even considered at one time and would be so much easier for Becky because feeding Grace by hand is extremely time consuming and difficult. The difference is...Grace has guardians who want her to live. That's all.
There have been experts on both sides of the case for Terri who have argued over her Cognizance. What if the doctors who said that she is aware of everything around her are wrong...then her parents would continue caring for her and it need not be a problem for her husband. What if the doctors who said that she is a vegetable are wrong...then she has been murdered. Plain and simple...murdered. I can remember when I was a little girl and my mom explaining to me the dangers of this very thing. I remember her telling me that abortion was the first step and that before long people will want to start killing the old and the handicap. At the time it seemed outrageous, and though I believed her I felt it would probably be long after I was dead and gone that anything like that could happen. How sweet to be naive. My only question now is, who's next?

New Dishes!

Timothy gives me an allowance of about $50 each month that I get to spend on whatever I want without asking his advise or opinion. Of course, I can't help but ask though. There are some dishes at one of the stores that I've had my eye on for a while now and yesterday I took the plunge with the two and a half months of saved allowance I had. The landlords provided us with some very nice dishes, but it's not what I would have chosen and there's only settings for 6 so it kind of limits me as far as entertaining goes. Yesterday I bought place settings for 12 people (12 b/c if I get my way and my dad, sisters, bother-in-laws and brother all can visit at the same time that's at least enough for the adults to eat together) minus 6 soup/cereal bowls and 6 dinner plates. Next week they should have the bowls and plates restocked and I'll get the last of those and this summer purchase the mugs and fruit bowls and serving pieces. I did get the cream and sugar. Very important in a tea/coffee consuming society.

I love china and can spend hours just looking at pieces on http://www.replacements.com. I found the china that Timothy and I had originally registered for and I still really like it and would like to save for it. It's a Lenox pattern called Jewels Sapphire. It's gaudy enough to please me, but no flowers or frilliness so Timothy was impressed with it too. (Mary, did you know there's a china pattern called Josephine? I can't remember who the manufacturer is, but they have it at replacements.)

I also bought window boxes and potting soil yesterday, but couldn't find red impatiens. The front of my house is in the shade and I'd love to do red geraniums in my windows, but I'll settle for boxes full of red impatiens since geraniums need a little more sunshine.

I've spent the past little while trying to figure out just how to go about posting pictures on this here blog, but I can't find any specific directions from Blogger. Tisra, any advice? Otherwise, I took pictures of the dishes and if you want to see them I'll email them to you.

Our mad, mad, mad, mad life...

There's someone from the U.S. State Department going to be at the QSI offices today so everyone has been warned to be in their finest office attire. Mike, the Director of Operations, is the one who is really big on this "keeping up appearances" bit and even though the man wasn't scheduled to be there until today, as early as last Friday everyone was supposed to be dressing nicely. Unfortunately for Mike, he had to go to Venezuela last Friday and while the DO is away the rest of the office will play. Someone got the bright idea to wear jeans on Friday and have someone photograph the naughtiness. Everyone else, including Jim (the president), thought this was a fabulous idea so Timothy took our camera to work and the receptionist made the pictures of the entire office staff flaunting their denim. Well, Jim put on a pair of shorts.

We had a very nice weekend in Slovenj Gradec. Good food and good company. They're very laid back people so Clay felt at home immediately. He and the cat had a good time chasing each other around the house. Lucija's dad, Borjen, is a woodworker on the side. He's made most of the furniture around the house including their king size bed. hmmm This is nice to know. He built a gazebo in the back yard complete with a cupboard for the outdoor dishes and wine, a shelf for a stereo and electrical lighting. He also built the table and chairs in the gazebo. We were very impressed.

The Monday after Easter is a holiday in Slovenia, and probably most catholic nations, so Ivana didn't have class last night. Timothy and I went to see Hitch. I would have liked to stay out longer, but since he had to get up for work in the morning we had to opt for the early show and get back home.

I've been sick as a dog this morning, but Clay keeps trying to cheer me up. I went back to bed after refunding my breakfast and he played on the bed while I rested. We had a good time. I'm feeling better, but have a bad headache. For someone who almost never gets headaches any headache is a bad one. I think I'll shower and put a movie on. Maybe read some more in my book. I've made up a list of major spring cleaning projects for Ivana and I. My rule is that when I'm not feeling well and don't want to work she doesn't have to either. It makes me feel guilty when she's doing all the work and I'm just sitting around. She offered to clean the fridge anyway this morning, it's on the list, and I told her that it's completely up to her. She's almost done. Good for her...

Ping-pong at Age One

Ever play ping-pong with a one year old? Clay watches Daddy and Mr. Kevin play at the office and has a pretty good understanding of the game. We were with Timothy Tuesday morning to get our visas renewed and Clay went straight for the basket that holds the balls and paddles. I handed him a paddle and a ball and took another paddle for myself. He walked to the far end of the table, which he couldn't even see over, reached up and attempted to throw the ball across the table. Then he just stood there and waited for me to return it. All I could see was the top of his blue winter cap. He was so serious about it too. He was going to play. Somehow I was able to convince him that we didn't need the table to play and we walked around throwing the ball to each other while just carrying our paddles.

There's an old man who sells handmade wooden products and baskets on the corner across from the local grocery store. There are all types and sizes of baskets, plus brooms made with twigs, wooden toys, boxes for this and that, benches, etc. Yesterday I bought a rake. I've been watching the older people with their old-fashioned wooden rakes and like what I see. It's sturdy like a garden rake, but wide and just flimsy enough to be a lawn rake also. I purchased one for 3000 Tolar (between 15 and 17$).

I put it on the back patio yesterday and Clay couldn't wait to get out there and use it. He's out there again this morning and he just stepped halfway inside and started lecturing me with his index finger waving in my direction. I got it on video, but Timothy has the camera today. I should try and get it on the webcam and email it. He has a little OshKosh train engineer hat on and an insulated flannel jacket. He got his hair cut Wednesday so is looking very boyish.

It's started to rain and I didn't get the webcam out in time. Clay would be happy to sit there and throw birdseed off the patio even in the rain, but it's probably not the best way to prevent a cold.

24 March 2005

People have been telling me how different it will be when I have two kids. Some days it feels like I already do have two kids, one is just a little more grown up and I didn't give birth to her. This morning I'm scrubbing a pan that was left in the oven Tuesday night and the mess that baked on it is determined to stay on it. Halfway through the scrubbing I wondered, "Why am I doing this?" First of all, it's been sitting there for two days when Ivana knew that it had baked on food. Two, why didn't she do this when it was hot and this stuff could have come off easily? Tomorrow morning when I get the daily question, "Is there something I can do for you?" I'm going to say, "Yes, there is. You can make this pan, that doesn't belong to me, look the way it did when you put it in the oven." ...had to vent.

Clay has been cracking us up lately. He's experimenting with all of his new abilities. His favorite thing to make us laugh is to walk with his feet as far apart as possible, bent knees and bending some. Then he says something like "blah" over and over, but in a deep voice from the back of his throat.

He got new shoes yesterday. I've not been my usual dirt cheap self when it comes to his shoes. I buy $25 shoes and make sure they can be boy or girl. Maybe that is cheap; I'm hoping to just buy kids' shoes once. Timothy's boss gave me an idea. She was one of six kids growing up in Canada and each year she said her mom would polish over their ice skates. One year a certain pair would be black and the next year that same pair might very well be white. hmm Good thinking!

I finally found a maternity store that sells normal color tights and hose. Why would I want colored tights when I'm pregnant? A pregnant woman stands out enough, and while she wants to be dressed well, it's not really the time to look like a drag queen. Clay picked up a nursing bra at the same place, but it wasn't his size.

My doctor's appointment didn't go as we'd hoped yesterday. We want to know if this is a boy or girl, but the child is so active we couldn't tell. I was hoping my next child would be more calm and my dad could enjoy holding him or her more than he did with Clay. *sigh* Maybe Baby will calm down yet. Maybe they just really enjoy the water.

We have company again tonight so I need to clean the house and make supper and chocolate chip cookies. I still haven't found chocolate chips, even though people keep telling me I can buy them here. I've been buying bars of baking chocolate and chopping them up. Thank goodness for food processors.

We just came off of a great weekend. We went to a small village named Vache' which is located in the exact center of Slovenia. Tom and Terry Bremer, the European directors of Teen Challenge came to do a marriage conference. They used a lot of the information found in the book His Needs Her Needs. Timothy and I had read that when we were engaged and it was nice to have a refresher.

Tom also shared a lot from other sources and there was so much that was completely new to us. For instance, my favorite part, Eve was created to be a help and companion to Adam, but if you look at the timing she was created after all the work was done! She was created at a time of rest. I thought, that's why us girls love to be pampered and go to spas and...rest! I think we're going to get an MP3 of all the sessions this weekend and I would be happy to share that with anyone else who is interested.

On a not so cheerful note, I'm having a hard time controlling my emotions this pregnancy. Timothy says it was just as bad last time, but I don't remember it being so. It seems like all he has to do is open his mouth and I'm angry and hurt at what he said. This morning Clay didn't help me any. After spending the weekend with Ivana he feels closer to her and this morning he walks right past me and reaches for her!

Yesterday in church I was sitting listening to the music warm up and thought about Grace, Landis and Hope sitting at Cornerstone on a Sunday morning before church and singing along. I almost burst out in tears!

I prayed about a way to handle these emotions and the best idea, I believe, is for me to shut myself away in my bedroom to read and pray until I can see things more clearly. I doesn't usually take that long if I'm reading in Psalms. We'll see.

March is almost over already and then it's only a month until we go to the States. We planned some dates, but I'm not happy with them now. It means Timothy would be in Nashville less than in North Carolina and that doesn't sound like a good idea at all since there are more people in Nashville we would want to see than in NC. We may have to do some refiguring.

The next two weekends are going to make the time before we leave seem even shorter. This weekend we're going north to spend time with Lucija's family. They are so very close to becoming Christians and I know it will be worth the investment. Ram and Sally are going too so it should be a fun weekend. Next weekend we're going to the coast to be with our friends down there. They video taped the marriage conference and have the equipment to turn the cassette into DVD, but not the knowledge. Everyone believes Timothy and I to be the computer guru's at church (that's a laugh) so we're the ones who get called on for things like this. Also, they've been wanting us to come back down for quite a while. We see them in church of Sundays, but when you live an hour away from each other that's not enough.

My Life Revolves Around Clay!

Clay and I walked to the grocery story yesterday. It was a gorgeous spring day and I was sweating even in a light sweater. Clay just had a jacket on and we got all kinds of funny looks from the babicas (grandmas). All the young Slovene children we met were still in their winter coats, hats and mittens. We're going to get funny looks until May 1. That's when it's acceptable to wear spring clothing. In Slovenia you dress according to the calendar, not the mercury in your thermometer. And it gets worse the further south you go. In Serbia the babicas are really bad.

I opened the big patio door in the living room and had the kitchen window propped open. It was nice to hear the birds singing so clear and smell the smoke from a neighbor's wood fire. When Clay woke up I put him back in his jacket and his squeaky shoes and let him go out in the back yard by himself to play for the first time. It's fenced in so he can't escape. I was getting my dinner ready and our things together for house group. He sat and threw bird seed off the patio into the grass.

He ended up falling off the patio and the way he fell made me sure he snapped his neck. He was sitting on the edge and he didn't tumble over. From what I could see and the way his body went up in the air it looked like he landed on his head. I ran out there almost certain he was dead, but he gets up and made a complaining noise, but that was it. He wanted to sit down again and throw more seed. The patio is about a foot and a half high from the ground. I'm so glad the soft dirt caught him!

Before I let him out I realized I couldn't watch him every second so I prayed over him and let him go. I suppose that will become a more frequent occurrence as he gets older! I'm so glad I did pray. On the other hand, I was kind of hoping he would fall, just not in that way. He needs to understand the edge and why he needs to be careful there.

There are some other dangers out there. We have a sink in the ground (that's the only way I can think to describe it) that concerns Timothy. Again, it's about a foot and a half deep, a foot square and tiled so a fall in there could be more serious. I'm going to call the landlords today to ask if there's a way to cover it or what they did when they had small kids here. This house was broken into years ago and since then the landlords have planted roses, holly and all kinds of other shrubbery with thorns on both sides of the fence! I want Clay to be able to go out, but someone will have to be with him.

There was another little boy at house group last night; 3 year old Martin. Clay loved having someone to play with. Martin wasn't feeling that good, but played some. I'm so glad Clay is friendly with the other little kids.

We're still negotiating for the house we want, but it looks less and less like we're going to get it. It will take a miracle and I'm happy to accept that. I think I should continue the hunt though, but the realtor hasn't called me in a while. I need to call him, but I feel like I have too much on my plate today and tomorrow.

Ivana and I need to translate some documents for SaveOne and tomorrow afternoon we leave for a marriage conference. We'll be back Saturday night and I'm looking forward to watching the service at Cornerstone again on Sunday.

Ivana and Clay walked to the grocery store so I should do something that I can't do with Clay around. I read my sister Mary's blog and think, "Wow! How does she make all those things?" She's always sewing something or creating something. I made my own coasters for my coffee table. I picked up three stones on the hill in front of our house that were flat and square shaped and I've been gluing felt to their bottoms so they don't scratch anything. The last one needs to be finished and I just got more super glue so I could do that this morning. I also found felt at that craft store so I can make more. They don't sell felt in the fabric stores so I thought I couldn't get it here.

It's Been A While...

My new friend, Kristin, called me on Monday. She had been watching Joyce Meyer on Sunday and it made her think of me. She reminds me of a mix between my cousin Shannon Runyon and my good friend Chasity Whisman. A strong amount of intelligence mixed with non stop talking and enthusiasm. Kristin is an Adventist, but doesn't seem to be the religious type. She was interested in what our church was like and said on Sundays she watches Joyce Meyer, Focus on the Family and Creflow Dollar! So, she's an almost Spirit-filled Adventist. I told her that I got to watch the church we came from in Nashville over the internet and she wanted that link too! How appropriate that Pastor Davis is preaching on the Holy Spirit. She said again that she would like us to come to their place for a weekend and I need to let her know what our plans are since we're gone the next couple weekends.

My friend Lucija called yesterday afternoon to say that her husband was working late and it was too nice of a day to sit at home by herself. She picked up Ivana, Clay and I and we all went into the city for cake. Well, Clay had ice cream. We had to stop at a craft shop for Ivana to buy some paper for her drawing class that evening. Wow! It was a mini version of Michaels or Joannes, minus sewing and silk flowers. I loved it! I got the card so I can go back and spend all my allowance.

Just when Clay reached that point of being able to play by himself really nicely he changes his mind. He doesn't want to play by himself lately. It's hard to blame a kid for being like that, but it's so wonderful for the mom when they do! If I ignore him he gets distracted with something else, but I feel so mean!

I have a lot to do today anyway. Ivana isn't here so I get to do my own housework again. Aiko's cleaning lady quit on her so I asked Ivana if she'd want to do it. After she goes there this morning she's going to have lunch with her cousin and grandparents' so we won't see her until tonight sometime. Having her here gets easier all the time, but it's still nice when I have a day of normalcy.

Busy, busy, busy

Our shopping trip Saturday was successful! We stopped first at the used clothing store and were happily impressed. Everything was clean and looked nice and items were tagged clearly. They didn't have anything maternity, no running pants and nothing for Clay, but I did find a couple sweaters for $7 each. Next we stopped at Intershpar where clothes are very cheap. I didn't see any jeans for Clay there either, but I found a couple pair of running pants for me. After washing one pair we discovered a 5 inch space that the sewing machine missed. Aiko has had similar experiences buying clothes there. The final stop was at Baby Center. They have really cute clothes there and if we ever have the money my friends and family with babies are going to find themselves with some adorable items! There's a small maternity section and I found a pair of jeans hidden in the corner that I loved! They don't come way over the belly so were more comfortable for me there. They're way too long, but Ivana said she would hem them up. I think they ended up being something like $60/$65. That sounds expensive to me, but I'm determined that I'm not done having kids yet so I thought the price was justifiable in the long run. We also found Clay a pair of jeans that were marked for 9 months, but are huge on him. They should last him until the end of the summer. Timothy got a little something too on our shopping adventure; 3 pairs of socks!

Sunday we met with the owners of the house in Vodice, Max and Ann. They were very warm and inviting, but he let us know he couldn't come down on what he wants for the house. He does have some contacts for us for Lexxus and is more than willing to work with us on that. We like them very much and they promised to have us over for home made Thai food!

Clay got a nice, fat, bloody lip Sunday before church. Before we realized it was bleeding I was holding him tight against my favorite sweater, which happens to be white. Nice! I put stain stuff on it right away and hopefully the drycleaners can get it out!

Clay will consistently tell you where Baby is now. He enjoys it and thinks it's a great joke. Sunday at church Ram asked him where Baby was and Clay pointed at his own belly. We all laughed, but then that hurt Clay's feelings. I almost told him that we weren't laughing at him, but that would have been a lie.

Aiko had surgery last week to remove a (non-cancerous) tumor from her uterus. She'd never had anything like surgery before and was a little nervous about going under. She was asking me all kinds of questions and I told her how much I loved being put under! I hate it when they wake me up! We kept Caleb on Monday so nothing got done around here. He's kind of a clingy little kid and Clay didn't like it that someone else was getting my attention.

Yesterday was the monthly SILA meeting and we were supposed to have Dr. Jane Goodall (the monkey lady) for a special guest, but her flight from Munich was delayed so no Jane Goodall. I did meet a new friend though! Her name is Kristin and she's originally from California. She moved here 15 years ago when she was about 20 years old to be with the man she loved!

She was telling me how, because of the school systems in Slovenia, her 15 year old son is going to have to go away for high school next year. She said she's having a very hard time of it and cries whenever she looks at him. I happened to have Wild At Heart with me and I was showing it to her and how I had just read the part about mothers cutting the apron strings and it seems so hard now that I have a son. Then I brought up Dr. Dobson's book about boys. She said she loved Dobson. hmm

A little later she kinda leaned in and said that they are protestants too. So I asked her if she likes Joyce Meyers. "I love Joyce Meyers!" Hu? Another spirit filled Christian in SILA? We exchanged information and she promised to call and invite us to their place. They live about an hour away so she hardly comes to the meetings. Her husband collects animals, including llamas and reindeer and she said if we can come while there's still snow on the ground that we can have a sleigh ride pulled by reindeer! WOW!

I'm still on a bit of a high from meeting Kristin. I'm becoming closer with the girls at church, but the very fact that we're from two different cultures makes the friendship process a little longer. I finally feel I have more of a sister-type relationship like I had with Julie Trandahl, Christina Spitters or Noelle Schimick.

It's Wednesday morning and time to get busy. I have lots on my to do list to catch up on.

Prescription for Growing Pains

Mary Jo's comment on my last entry has finally made sense. ...not that she doesn't usually make sense... Timothy and I haven't been completely comfortable with ignoring Clay's tantrums, but it's the only thing we've known to do. It's opposite of what he wants so we figured that to be the right form of discipline.

Also, let me clarify. Clay doesn't throw a lot of tantrums! He's a very good natured kid who has a lot of fun and has the ability to find fun on his own. Like right now. He noticed his books lying all over the floor and made up a game of spitting on them. Maybe it's his way of annointing them. It doesn't matter! He's content and the books aren't going to be harmed in any way. A few minutes ago he went and got the toilet brush and tried to clean his feet with it. He's catching on to the idea of cleanliness, but the method needs a little tweeking. He's really a blessing to have as a son.

So, the new course for anger management when Clay doesn't get his way is to distract him, and then if that doesn't work, we get out the spoon.

He's also caught on to the concept of hitting when he's angry about something. I don't like this concept and it is immediately followed with the spoon treatment. The nice thing is, I don't have to hit him very hard to get my point across. Originally, because of Clay's personality, we thought he was going to be one of those kids who only responded to time out. Time out seems like the easy way out! I'm also glad he's not one of those kids you have to beat several times on the back of the leg to get a response out of! One good whollup with the spoon and he gets it! His heart is broken and he curls up in my arms. That's my favorite part.

In other news, I am almost grown out of my clothes. I feel skinnier this pregnancy, but a quick check with Kathy Williams told me that my weight is about the same. hmm Unfortunatly I don't have those jeans of Tisra's to borrow this time and the trousers that Barbara Telzerow let me borrow are all too short. My fat jeans are getting tight in the tummy so we're going to have to go shopping tomorrow.

Clay's jeans are too short also so he needs new clothes as well. Thankfully, we just found out that there is a second hand clothing store in Ljubljana. That's a small miracle since the Slovene's are all so image driven! I'm going to ask the receptionist at QSI where it is, she's the one that told us about it, and we'll probably shop there first. I also need maternity pants for around the house. I like to wear running pants at home b/c they're so comfortable.

We've got another bite on our Lexxus business and hopefully it's a good one. The wife is very serious about working from home and the only reason she's doing office work right now is b/c she doesn't want to be bored. This has potential to be a big recruit!

We're still negotiating on the house we want. Everytime I let it go something happens or is said and I'm back in that dangerous cycle of operating in my emotions. We need prayer for a financial miracle and for the decision makers in this process to have imagination.

Growing Pains

We made the one kilometer walk into Crnuce yesterday and ran our five errands! I made the mistake of not eating any protein before we went. That was was stupid; I know better. The last stop was the grocery store and I picked up a juice and a snicker for Clay and I to eat before the walk back home.

Clay took a good nap after being out in the sunshine. I slept too and didn't hear my alarm go off. I still felt awful, even after having spaghetti for lunch, so I made a quick protein shake and sat down to Pride and Prejudice. That was the perfect remedy. Clay woke up around 4:00 and we played and got dinner on the stove.

He threw a fit at dinner time b/c he wanted to eat oranges instead of spaghetti. The fit was ignored by Mommy and Daddy who carried on their conversation like nothing was going on. We're not exactly sure how to handle that, but ignoring tantrums seems like a good idea.

This morning when I sat down to check email Clay wanted up on my lap. I kept typing and he tried to hit me. It was the cutest, brattiest thing! I looked at him in surprise and he knew he was in trouble. I told him that it's naughty to hit and his bottom lip started to wrinkle up and he looked so pitiful! I wish I had a camera in my brain and could print pictures out my eyes! He tried to hit me again so I slapped his hand. Then he tried to hit me with the other hand so I slapped that hand. I shouldn't say try; he did hit, but obviously it doesn't hurt. I lectured on only Mommy and Daddy doing the discipline. I don't know if he got it or not, but I guess it's time to move to spanking consistantly. After the second slapped hand his heart broke and we had a flood of tears. Then I picked him up and held him for a while. I'd like to have a weapon...tool that we use for spankings. Maybe a wooden spoon that when we mention the word spoon he knows!